Happy Monday!!

Cousin love!  Roman (almost three), AJ, and Jacob.

4 months

Sorry for the poor quality, taken from my IPhone.

Stats
Weight: 16.1 lbs (75%)
Height: 26" (75-90%)
Head: 41cm (25%)

Dear Jacob,

You are 4 months old!  I say this everyday, but you are growing too fast.  It is amazing how it feels like just yesterday I was holding your tiny delicate baby body over my shoulder and now you are a mover!  Get used to those words, I'll be saying them the rest of my life to you.  You can almost sit up unassisted (for a few seconds at least), you roll from side to side, you turn your whole body to look at something you hear (like a big brother), and you try to sit up!

While I often wish I had a remote on you and your brothers life, where I mostly wish I could pause every moment and enjoy it for as long as possible (of course I want to fast forward through your brother's tantrums!), I can't say with all honesty that I am not looking forward to getting this month over with.  You went from being a really GOOD sleeper to a really BAD sleeper literally overnight.  The doctor says this month is when you are really taking in the world and that most babies have some sleep regression at this time.  I don't know how true that is, but what I do know is that a rested mommy is a more fun mommy!  At least I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

You are still a very social baby, just like your brother.  You love to be talked to.  You are also reaching and holding on to things!  The other night you had a really fun time exploring one of your brother's trains.  You have discovered your feet--and daddy loves to 'get your toes'.  All I have to do is pretend to kiss your neck and you giggle with such loud laughter.  You LOVE belly time now.  You are still a good baby, but if you are hungry you will SCREAM extremely loud.  You started taking baths without the newborn cover--mommy didnt' feel very comfortable without it until recently!  You are still sleeping next to me in the co-sleeper.  I just want to be able to hear your breath and I know I will miss you if I move you to the crib.  Maybe I'll get more sleep if I don't wake up to every little sound, but I just can't stand the thought of you being away from me yet. 

I have to mention how much you and your brother love each other.  I know one day I will have to remind myself of these days as you two are fist fighting on the floor over something trivial, or elbowing each other in the back seat because "he is touching meeee".  Just this week Daddy and I had a Thanksgiving Lunch at AJ's school.  I told AJ that just mommy and daddy were going to come spend time with just HIM.  He did NOT like that you weren't coming.  Usually kids crave one-on-one attention after a little sibling comes into the picture, but not your brother.  He just loves you so much.  It melts my heart to see you two together.  I am the luckiest mommy in the world.  One morning you were laying safely on my bed while I was getting ready in the morning.  Your brother came in and laid down with you and made up a song just for you, "we are a family, we stick together, we love each other, I love you, you are the cutest baby....".  That is what life is worth living for, that is what life is all about.

You started daycare this month.  Man, it still hurts to drop you off.  I know it's good for you and you just love your teacher.  You get spoiled being the only baby there.  She admits she holds you most of the day because you are so cuddly.  I love and hate that, since I WANT to hold you all day.  But it gives me relief to know that you are in good hands. 

I just love you to pieces.  I fall in love with you more and more every single day.  I know this will never stop, as I still feel that way about your brother.  I am excited to see your personality change and grow, but I want to just keep you where you are right now.  I want to soak in every single moment.  I'm so lucky to have you.

Love,
Mommy

I'm still adjusting to working--but it's going great so far.  I have been assessing ways I can make things easier on me, but overall, it's going well.  The boys are doing great.  Here is a video and photo of them.  As a side note, I just got the new IPhone 4s and I love it.  I always have my phone handy to snap a photo of my boys or video something awesome.  I am officially an Apple girl.  It's kind of like pringles, once you pop, you can't stop.

Since I have been a bit distracted in the morning, I haven't kept such a good eye on AJ as I usually do.  One morning I realized he wasn't in his room playing after I got out of the shower.  I called down to him and he was down in the basement playing with his toys.  Not a big deal since our house is kid proofed.  As I was putting my shoes on getting ready to walk out the door, I noticed a large RED crayon marked stairwell.  You better believe he CLEANED it up.  Here is the video.  I will tell you, he did quite a good job.  I'm also thankful for washable crayons.

Jacob is still a happy baby.  He is also still chunky :).  I just love little chunky thighs.  Nothing makes me smile more then seeing some chunky thighs on a baby!  We just bought him a bumbo chair.  We didn't have one for AJ, but I will tell you, the chair is amazing.  It has a high back to support a learning to sit baby.  It gives the baby the opportunity to sit up and look around and really be involved.  I love it because I can plop him in there in the kitchen while I make dinner and we can chat and then he can also sit and look at us while we eat dinner.  Well, our chunky little thighs BARELY fit.  When I sit him in there, I need to squeeze the middle part and push his thighs down into the opening.  Then when I take him out, I have to do the opposite, or when I lift him the chair comes with him.  I hope his thighs will fit for a few months!  Look how happy he is:



Back to Work

Today is my first day back at work...and I survived the morning getting two kids out of the house.  Well, I got AJ ready, but John took him to school (luckily).  I even managed to get up at 5:30 for an early morning workout.  It's very bittersweet for me.  I do enjoy having a career, but I really want to be home with my boys.  This will be good for all of us, I'm sure.  I have no fantasies that it is going to be easy.  I have a big weakness though, I want/need to do everything perfectly.  I have what you call OCD and a controlling nature.  I don't deal well with others (aka John) doing things because I feel like I do it best.  It's a really bad disorder that causes me stress.  The reality is that you CAN'T DO IT ALL.  I just hope that I do a decent job at it all.  As long as I keep in mind what the priorities are, I should be ok.  Kids first, job second, healthy meals third.  Laundry and house cleaning will have to be a distant forth for now.

I am feeling really sick to my stomach today.  I hate leaving my smiling little baby boy.  I hate leaving AJ too, but I know he will be ok at school--and I know he enjoys it.  He can also speak, Jacob can not.  I know we choose the right place for him, but I just wish I could be with him!  I miss him.

Oh, and I forgot how much PUMPING and WORKING SUCK.  My first work pump session, and someone is knocking on my door.  I have my own office and happen to have no windows to the office on my door, so I'm lucky...but I also have no lock.  HR is working on adding one luckily!