I have always maintained that being a mom, and especially a stay at home mom, is a very thankless job. In fact, during a recent girls night out dinner with my best friend, I was just talking about this. Let's face it, it's tough to be a mom, wife, homemaker, etc. (the list can go on and on). As humans, we just need to be THANKED.
At work, I'm thanked for a job well done in a form of either a bonus or an 'attaboy'. I know where I stand. At home, it's not so easy. I like to think I'm doing the right thing in terms of raising my child, keeping my house, and loving my husband. John does do a good job of 'thanking me' and making sure he let's me know that I'm doing a good job. There is something, though, that always causes me to doubt myself.
I hear my husband and see what he does to help me. I see my son grow and become a great little boy. I hear my son tell me great things all of the time.
But I also see a pile full of laundry, a sink full of dishes, dinner that is late getting on the table. I also think, 'oh man, my son isn't getting the right kind of sleep'. Or I see him take toys away from other kids and think, 'wow, I'm doing a poor job of getting him to share'. Or I see him throw a temper tantrum and I think, 'wow, I need to discipline better'. There are countless things that I see that makes me doubt what I am doing as a mother. And there are other people, too, that make you feel like just awful. I imagine even when they are older, some personality traits make you blame yourself for not doing this or that in the younger years. It truly is a thankless job--even when you are being 'thanked'.
Well, timing couldn't have been any better then this morning getting someone ringing my door bell. I went to the door and I had flowers and a very cute note waiting for me:
"AJ and I wanted to let you know we love you and appreciate all the hard work you do, at work and at home."
So maybe it isn't so thankless. Of course, we are always going to doubt ourselves as mothers. No one is perfect, which means there are no perfect mothers. We all make mistakes. I would say if you feel this way from time to time, you are doing something right. And since no one is perfect, you can just hope that your kids turn out to be great people with great values.
So maybe those dishes don't get cleaned right away. Maybe that pile of clothes sits there for a few days. Maybe my child take toys from other kids during playdates. And maybe he also throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way. Well--those clothes and dishes sitting there means I had more time to play games with my family. And my kid taking toys from others means he is still learning how to share and fight his own battles. And the tantrums--well they give me headaches--but they also teach both of us a valuable lesson. I also see my child get very concerned when others are sad or crying. I also see my child giving me kisses and hugs whenever I want them.
And as for my husband--I see a man who has to put up with a lot from me. I mean, AJ gets those tantrums from someone. And with all he has to put up with, he always sees how hard I work and makes sure I am loved and thanked. And that, my friends, is something I need to focus on!
AJ waiting patiently after cleaning out our pumpkin:
Three generations of Redskins fans watching the game together. Note: yes, that is a redskins couch in our basement. It's also a pile of blankets and pillows next to it (excuse the mess!).
